Lost in the Beat Read online

  The life I made will keep her well cared for.

  That was his sole consolation.

  Pushing aside thoughts of his duty to the paparazzi, he glanced about the billiards room. Sam was helping Fallon kick Keys’ ass by giving her lessons on pool shooting.

  Instead of cooking like normal, Sam had ordered Pizza. Jase had struggled to keep his eyes off Fallon as she ate. A long string of cheese had dangled from a slice, Fallon had tipped her head back, and opened her mouth to receive it, winding it around her tongue. Since then, he’d imagined her on her knees at least a dozen times opening her mouth the same way to receive his cock.

  He shook his head and kissed the top of Faith’s head. Daughter in his arms and all he could think about was fucking her momma. Proof I am a pig.

  Anger still churned in his gut, but now he just wanted to fuck it out of his system. He’d called one of his fuck-buddies a couple of nights ago to do just that. She’d come over and not wanting Fallon to know she visited he’d snuck her into the house and locked his bedroom door just in case. She’d been on her knees with his flaccid dick in her mouth. He’d been unable to obtain an erection.

  First time ever. It’d been a sobering moment when he realized he wanted one woman in particular. And his dick would accept no substitute.

  Just my motherfucking luck.

  In the company of his sister and band mates, Fallon had loosened up a bit. Her change in attire had only ramped up his cock’s interest in her. He sported the worst case of blue balls.

  She bent over to make her shot, and damned if he didn’t like the way those ratty jeans looked hugging her ass, even if they were a little too loose at the beginning of the week. After enjoying Sam’s cooking, she’d begun to fill in the saggy parts. He suspected she’d gone without to ensure Faith received all her necessary requirements.

  During one of his encounters with her at breakfast—it was the only time he spent any time with her because he’d spent the better part of the week avoiding her—she’d admitted she had survived with no aid from anyone.

  Fallon jerked him out of his thoughts when she elicited a high-pitched giggle after the ball she’d shot went into the pocket. It was a shot usually only Sam made. Jase grinned, pleased his sister and baby-momma were getting along. Satisfied too that Fallon enjoyed herself because from the moment he’d walked into his lawyer’s office, she’d been stressed, and the dark rings beneath her eyes had given her a tired appearance. She’d been due a breakdown soon. Tonight at least, she enjoyed some carefree moments.

  Sam sent Keys a bragging grin and gave Fallon a hip-bump for her success. “You’re a natural at pool, Fallon.”

  “Or Keys sucks more than we realized.” Hot Wired’s bass guitarist, Derr, added the slur.

  “Fuck you, asshole. See if I have your back next time.” Keys sounded serious, but he knew the other man kidded.

  By Fallon’s wide-eyed gape, she hadn’t caught on to their good-natured ribbing.

  Faith, who sat in Jase’s lap with her back against his chest, propped up so she could see the gang, squealed at Keys, getting into the fray. All present glanced at his kid.

  “Hey!” Sam gave Keys an affronted glare. “If my niece’s first words are ‘fuck you, asshole’ I’m gonna bust your kneecaps.”

  In their lingo, busting kneecaps was code for busting balls. Keys winced but didn’t give up his bitching and further lobbied his gripe over the pool lessons. “Goddamn it, Boo, I helped raise you, aided and abetted in getting you and Fang together—”

  Sam snorted.

  “—there should be some loyalty in that. I get zero appreciation.”

  Sam rolled her eyes hard.

  Yeah, Jase agreed with Sam. That drama-filled statement was so far-fetched it was beyond ludicrous. Keys might not’ve been against his baby sister’s romance with their front man, but he hadn’t done much to get them together either. All of them had been unsure about their union. Fang and Sam had been the only ones confident about their relationship.

  “Drama Queen.” Fang strode away from the bar to wrap an arm around Fallon’s shoulders.

  Jase tensed with jealousy for a split-second. He wanted to touch her with ease like that and resented that Fang felt comfortable enough to follow through on the action.

  Fang’s eyes met his, and he said loud enough for all to hear. “They’re joking with one another. You’ll eventually get used to it.”

  Derr scrolled through his cell and without looking up said dryly, “Most of my girlfriends are less bitchy than you, Keys.”

  Jase chuckled at their everyday prodding.

  Faith tilted her head back to look up at him with her big green eyes. A sudden squeal burst from her, and she kicked her arms and legs. That squeal turned into baby giggles that were clearly put-on. Simply put, she laughed because he laughed.

  He cherished her interaction with him and lifted her in his arms to face him. Making exaggerated laughing noises at her, he added in some silly faces too, desperate to draw out more of her sweet sounding cackles. Either the goofier his chuckles sounded or the more exaggerated his silly faces became—he had no idea which spawned her reaction—the more high-pitched her giggles grew. These were real and not fabricated to indulge him. He bent his head and made smacking noises against her neck.

  In response Faith howled more cackles and fisted his hair, kicking him in the chest.

  It’d taken no time for him to fall head-over-heels in love with her. She liked him not because of his rocker status, or because of his money, but because he was hers as much as she was his.

  She already owns my heart.

  Realizing the room had grown quiet, he tilted his head back as far as he could with Faith yanking on his hair. She continued to jabber in her indecipherable lingo.

  Everyone stared at them. Sam grinned her head off, and his band mates gawked like he’d grown several new heads.

  Fallon sauntered to them and plopped down on the sofa next to him. “Let go of Daddy’s hair.” Fallon pried Faith’s fingers open so she’d release her hold on him.

  He shifted his focus to Fallon. “I like the sound of that.”

  “What?”

  “Daddy.”

  She met his gaze, her eyes softening. “It’s a very special title.”

  “I’m happy for you, Jase.” Derr ran his fingertips along his barely-there mustache. “Your girls are a nice fit to our group.”

  Fallon opened her mouth to say something, but Keys added his two cents before she could speak. “Fallon is clearly out of your class. She’s too good for you.”

  “But we’re not—”

  “Agreed.” Fang interrupted Fallon and high-fived Keys. “Bastards like Jase don’t deserve perfection like them.”

  Jase gave Keys and Fang the bird, while nudging Fallon with his shoulder. “Ignore them, darlin’. No one is safe from Keys’ or Fang’s morbid humor, and anything you say is just gonna egg them on more.”

  “Watch it, little drummer boy.” Keys pointed his finger. “I got secrets I could tell.”

  “Don’t we all,” Derr said.

  “None as big as mine.” Fang tipped his beer bottle to his lips and swigged.

  Keys and Derr could be talking about anything, but Fang referred to the transvestite. He sent his long-time friend a glare. “Fuck you, Fang, you swore.”

  He could feel Fallon’s interest.

  Sam racked the billiards. “I do not want to know.”

  Yeah, she’d seen more than her fair share of graphic conquests.

  “Just dishing out bullshit like you gave it to me and Sam.” Fang toasted Jase with his beer bottle.

  All right, he’d give Fang that. Jase deserved some shit, but he at least held out hope the secret would remain safe. That’d been one wild night, and he couldn’t even pretend he’d been drunk. He’d known from the moment he brought “Candy” back to his room that she was a he. At first, he’d thought he’d play a little and decide the experience wasn’t for him. But goddamn
Candy could suck dick like nobody’s business, and the taboo idea of it all had gotten Jase so horny he’d jumped feet first into the bi-exploration, ditching all his preconceived limits. His time with Candy became one of his most memorable instances of depravity. Confessing all to Fang had seemed natural since Fang was more like his brother, and his buddy had promised to keep it a secret. Had he bumped into Candy again, he’d have repeated the debauchery without hesitation.

  “Whatever that secret is, it sounds juicy,” Tab said as she waltzed into the room, snatching Jase out of his contemplation.

  Thank fuck!

  He didn’t want to think about that evening and prayed Fallon never found out. He couldn’t imagine how differently she’d view him if she ever learned how kinky he’d gone. But, the same ol’ sex became boring sometimes, and Candy had spiced things up for a night.

  On the flip side, he’d hoped to avoid Tab for another day or two.

  Goddamn my luck.

  “Might want to spill all, Fang. I can’t head off rumors if I’m not in the know.” Their agent gave Jase’s buddy a pointed glare.

  “Toothpicks beneath my fingernails wouldn’t get it out of me.” Fang strode to the bar and poured a shot of liquor. He offered it to Tab. “Don’t forget I have a secret or two on you, too.”

  Tab narrowed her eyes.

  Damn Fang and his secret-keeping abilities! Jase needed to know all the juicy details on Tab.

  “So.” Tab spun away from Fang and focused her attention on Jase and Fallon, making it apparent whatever Fang knew, she preferred to keep it quiet. “I assume this is baby-momma and baby?”

  “You’ll be nice to her, Tab,” Jase said at the same time Fallon said, “This is Faith, and I’m Fallon Morgan. Pleasure to meet you.”

  “I’m nice to everyone, Jase.”

  Sam snorted.

  Jase readied to defend Fallon because he didn’t trust Tab’s style of ‘nice’.

  Keys eyed their agent and scratched the back of his head. “Nice by whose standard exactly?”

  “Mine.” Tab strode forward and handed Derr her untouched shot of alcohol.

  He drank the contents in one gulp and set the glass on the floor beside his foot.

  Keys nodded his head. “Oh, well that explains our difference in definitions.”

  Tab ignored Keys and studied Faith for a long moment before saying, “Cuter than I expected, being yours.”

  “Ha…ha…” He might not be the hottest eye-candy on the market, but Jase knew he wasn’t a wallflower either.

  Tab winked at him. “I’m Tab. Just Tab, like Cher and Madonna, well-known enough that no last name is needed. I’m Hot Wired’s jack-of-all-trades and if you didn’t notice, their favorite punching bag.”

  “Something tells me you’re not as guiltless as you pretend,” Fallon challenged their agent.

  Jase chuckled.

  Faith mimicked him.

  “Funny girl,” he teased his daughter, shaking his hair in her face. “Is this our new game?”

  “The paparazzi are going to love that.” Tab nodded at him and Faith. “My cold heart loves that. So….” She nudged Fallon’s foot with her toe. “I know just the right person to give you the perfect makeover.”

  “What’s wrong with the way I look?” Fallon lifted her arms up and looked down at herself.

  “Seriously? Girl, you’re a train wreck. Split ends, tired skin, dark rings under your eyes—”

  “I think she’s hot.” Keys tossed his pool stick on the table. “Why don’t you try out my kind of nice, Tab? It does wonders for your digestion.”

  Jase placed a gentle kiss to his daughter’s forehead, his complacent demeanor a contradiction to his sudden anger. “Your rudeness continues, Tab, and I won’t do any goddamn interviews even if you beg and promise to slit your wrists with a butter knife.”

  “Drama boys,” Tab said in a singsong voice. “I was being nice. You guys are like a bunch of sensitive women. The press will mock her.” She glanced at her cell and hit a button before continuing. “She’s got major potential. If you ask me, she’s hotter than Sam with that hair and those bigger tits.” A blush hit Fallon’s cheeks, but with Tab’s candor, nothing was gonna stop her. Not even him. “I don’t want her to suffer pap scrutiny for the minor details Fabian can fix. When he’s through with her, I’ll want to fuck her.”

  Fallon’s jaw dropped.

  “Ignore her,” Jase said. “She’s always a bitch like this.”

  “Don’t ignore me. Ask Sam. She’ll tell you that being in the limelight sucks.” Sam nodded, but Tab kept talking without appreciating Sam’s agreement. “You want to look your best if nothing else. Fabian can perform the do-over tomorrow morning before the interview scheduled early afternoon.”

  “I have work tomorrow,” Fallon protested, looking a little overwhelmed in Jase’s estimation.

  “Is she for real?” Tab notched her thumb toward Fallon, but peered at Jase.

  “Afraid so,” he said, running his palm over Faith’s strawberry-blonde head.

  “Why?” Their agent’s blonde brows drew together.

  “She doesn’t want to be dependent on my goodwill.”

  “I won’t let you take care of me,” Fallon added. “I’m not your responsibility.”

  Tab stared at Fallon like she was an anomaly to figure out. “Are you fuckers punking me?”

  “Nope.” Jase shook a rattle at Faith, and she wrapped her fingers around it, drawing it to her mouth to gum the plastic toy.

  Tab eyed Fallon. After a long moment she shrugged. “No matter. You’ll have to call in sick tomorrow. I need you to do this inter—”

  “No. I’m not,” Fallon interrupted her, and Jase noticed the looks Derr, Keys, Fang, and Sam shared with one another. Tab hated having her power usurped. “You might have more money than God, but my cash flow is limited. I need the income.”

  “You’ve got Mr. Money-bucks as your baby-daddy. Milk the system like a normal girl. Christ!” Tab threw her hands into the air. “Can’t anyone act normal? What is the world coming to?”

  Everyone wanted something from him. It was nice knowing Fallon wanted only from him when it concerned their daughter. He wouldn’t risk his relationship with her just because of their agent’s whoring tendencies for media attention. “Tab—”

  Fallon placed her hand on his arm, interrupting him. He glanced at her as she said, “I got this, Jase.” She faced Tab again. More like squared off against Tab if the look in her eyes was any indication. “You might have control over these guys, but your control doesn’t extend to me.”

  Tab’s eyebrows shot upward, challenging Fallon. “As long as you’re in Hot Wired’s environment, you’re under my control. Ask Sam.”

  “Wrong. I didn’t sign up for that. I’m Faith’s mother, not your puppet. I’ll do as I please, when I please, how I please, without asking your permission first. If you and the press don’t like it, well, I really don’t give a shit. The person I live for is Faith. And while we’re on the subject of her, let me set a few ground rules where she’s concerned. No photos of Faith’s face are to be taken or released to the public.” Tab would’ve argued, but Fallon cut her off by slashing her palm through the air. “Nonnegotiable, Just Tab.”

  “A woman after my heart,” Keys said deadpan.

  Jase had to agree. Watching her take on Tab was pretty fucking hot. And their agent still floundered to find her tongue. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen the woman speechless.

  “I’m a little turned on myself.” Derr’s focus on Fallon prompted Jase to execute a swift kick to his shin. The action brought to surface a renegade grin from his bass guitarist.

  “Jase, if you don’t marry Fallon, I will.” Keys flashed a grin at Fallon when she cut a glance his way.

  “You, Mr. Cornell,” she said to Keys, as she pushed off the sofa and to her feet. “Are trouble with a capital T. I almost pity the girl you fall for.”

  “Who says it isn’t you?” Keys shot back.r />
  “Right.” She tossed Keys a saucy smile. “As Just Tab pointed out, I’m no one’s wet dream.”

  Thank God Jase wore jeans or it’d be obvious to everyone that that was a whopper of a lie. The zipper chafing his boner sufficed as proof and the metal teeth would probably be imprinted on his flesh soon, but at least the denim wrangled his erection under control, rendering his hard-on less noticeable.

  Fallon peered at Jase. “The way she’s gumming that, it won’t be long before she’s ready to eat.”

  “You have a say in this too, Jason.” It took Jase a moment to realize Tab spoke to him since she used his given name. No one ever used his birth name…except his attorney.

  He laughed as he rose to his feet. “I’m not doing your dirty work for you, Tab. If it’s any consolation, I agree with her. Our daughter’s safety comes first. And if you can’t understand that, then you’re even less human than I thought. Catch y’all in a bit.”

  Tab sent him an exasperated glare. “We still need to discuss the interview tomorrow.”

  “What’s to discuss? I don’t need prepping to talk about my little angel.” He nodded at Faith cradled in his arms. “I’ll allow them a few shots I approve, without her face exposed, and it’ll be over. I’m offering them drama-free truth, but still lots of exposure to suit your needs, Tab.”

  “Where are you going anyway? So the baby’s hungry, pop a bottle in her mouth. That’s drama free and gives me your attention, which also suits my needs.”

  “I’m hoping she’s breastfeeding this round. That’s some sexy shit.” While he enjoyed feeding Faith, he equally enjoyed watching her nurse.

  Derr wiped his mouth with his palm, and Jase suspected he performed the motion to keep from busting out with laughter at Tab’s mystified gawk. Keys opened and closed his mouth several times before catching Sam and Fang’s attention. Sam shrugged at their lead guitarist, and he shook his head, giving up on whatever he’d wanted to say.