Lost in the Beat Read online

  She managed to jostle Faith to her other breast with minimal exposure. With her breast milk drying up, she couldn’t nurse her daughter as long as she could in the beginning or as long as she needed to nurse her. Which meant, she’d require a bottle sooner than normal.

  When she looked up, Jase gawked in the vicinity of her boobs. He ran his thumb along his bottom lip. She imagined he saw a sultry woman, someone he desired, not someone who nourished a baby. In reality, nursing a baby wasn’t all that erotic of a view.

  Get your shit together, Fallon. How many times would it be necessary to tell herself that before she actually managed it?

  She blew out a breath and focused her gaze out the windows that lined one wall. Jase had wanted and might still want her, but that meant little when a limitless supply of easy women existed in his realm. She’d been easy once. Not again. She valued Faith’s future too much to jeopardize it by acting on the lust Fallon felt for Faith’s dad.

  The doorbell rang, and he glanced over his shoulder. “Through that door”—he nodded in the direction he indicated—“is the adjoining bathroom. Take a look around. If you need anything you will let me know.”

  Not a request, but a demand. Somewhere along the line of stardom he’d forgotten honey attracted more flies than vinegar. That and he likely gave more orders than requests.

  Her daughter made grunting noises, a sound she manufactured when her hunger neared satiation. Fallon peered at Faith snuggled in her arms.

  “I only required your assistance with Faith.” As a mother, she was pleased Jase could give Faith everything she could ever want or need. Despite that, her pride chafed at her inability to provide for her child and having to depend on him to meet Faith’s needs. “This house, the bedroom…it’s all more than I anticipated. More than I need. Just take care of Faith, don’t worry about me.”

  She glanced up to find him in her personal space. A quiet gasp slipped from her lips before she could halt it because she hadn’t even heard him move. This close to his biosphere made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and not from dread, but excitement.

  “What type of man do you take me for?”

  “Um….” Any answer she gave to that wouldn’t be complimentary.

  “You’re the mother of my child.” The tight lines fanning outward from his eyes implied that meant something to him. “I won’t tolerate you wanting for anything while living with me.”

  Living with him inferred a more intimate arrangement than the innocent one they had.

  Knowing that wasn’t what he meant she bickered at her thoughts to stay on track. “Doesn’t mean I expected anything from you. I only needed a little help with Faith.” He ran his fingertips along Faith’s cheek and she went on. “And you gave too much even with that.”

  “Nothing is too much for Faith.”

  “I’m an unwelcome intruder invading your private domain.” When she’d instigated legal proceedings, being his roomie was the last outcome she’d foreseen. “And I feel like a user.” That too. Neither of them were good feelings. “I never want to be so fake I’d use someone for money.”

  His nostrils flared, and he bent to kiss Faith’s chubby cheek. He tilted his head back just enough his gaze caught hers. “You’ve made it obvious you want nothing from me. I doubt that qualifies you as a manipulator. I almost wish you were a user, then I’d have known Faith earlier.” Jase leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Fallon’s cheek shocking her with instant arousal. He startled her further when his lips slid along her skin and he whispered into her ear, “You’re family now, Fallon. I hope in time you’ll feel welcome among us. You might have to set boundaries with Sam because she’s lacking in female friends.”

  His vacillating emotions—anger to lust to friendship—confused her.

  As if snapping out of a spell, he abruptly stepped away from her but slid his thumb along her chin. Their gazes touched. Held. Her breath lodged in her lungs. Something flitted across his features, softening the lines away from his eyes, giving him a younger appearance. She would’ve given almost anything to know what he was thinking in that moment.

  Jase lowered his hand and cleared his throat. His fingers skated through his hair. “I’m gonna change clothes.” He rubbed his nape and then unbuttoned the top two buttons of his dress shirt. Fallon went back to holding her breath, even while she suspected he wasn’t conscious of his actions because he kept talking as he worked on his buttons. “That doorbell a few minutes ago was probably the start of supplies. Or Tab. Maybe we’ll get lucky and she won’t make an appearance.” Who was Tab again? She couldn’t recall if he’d even said. “Tomorrow we shop.” She must’ve made a face because he said, “What?”

  She could compromise. “Fine. We’ll shop so you can buy unnecessary items that I already own. But no nanny.” She didn’t want someone else taking care of her child. That was for superstars who didn’t want the nuisance of raising their offspring. Fallon was no superstar, and her daughter would never be a bother.

  “I want only the best for Faith. I can afford it. Humor me.” The fifth button on his shirt came free. “You don’t want a nanny, fine. I’ll hire one for when I’m working. Although I don’t have a clue what you think you’re going to do if I’m busy and you gotta work.”

  Apparently he couldn’t compromise on the nanny issue. “I don’t want someone else doing my job. Faith’s my responsibility, and I don’t want her to be like other celebrity kids, raised by nannies, and not feeling the love of her parents.”

  “Darlin’, no one but us will raise our daughter. Consider the nanny your daycare and nothing else. Y’all work together on the hours when you need her. If I’m free, I’ll keep her instead of the nanny. We can split middle of the night wake-up feedings. I can be easy.” He laughed. “We know that I’m easy, but I can be easy to work with too. I have faith if we’re united we can raise an amazing little girl. My parents did it. I’m assuming yours did. If you think I’m being an unreasonable ass, tell me. It doesn’t get any simpler than that, Fallon.” As he talked, Jase pulled his shirt out of his slacks and finished off the buttons. His abs were cut a little tighter than she remembered, and he had a nice six-pack. He’d obviously been working out.

  Fallon blinked and looked away. She bet her skimpy paycheck ‘unreasonable’ should be his middle name, but she could see the plausibility of his nanny argument. “All right.”

  “Now was that so hard?”

  More than he knew, but he looked so pleased by yet another victory over her, she kept the thought to herself.

  “I look forward to winning an argument.” Sheesh, she hadn’t won a single one yet.

  “Don’t be bitter,” he said deadpan. “I can’t help God made me irresistibly charming.” Jase winked at her and flashed her a panty-dropping grin.

  Bastard! She despised that panty-dropping grin because it created funny swirls in the pit of her belly and made her heart race.

  This slice of charm was why she’d fallen victim to his magnetism to begin with, and she did her best to ignore it now.

  She licked her dry lips. “Can I borrow your cell? I need to let my parents know where I am and what happened.”

  She should’ve contacted them sooner, but so much had gone on in a fast timeframe that she’d forgotten to update them. Since she didn’t have a phone—cell or even house because that was a luxury she couldn’t afford—they hadn’t anticipated a call before now anyway.

  “You betcha.” He slipped the device out of his pocket and offered it to her. “If you need me, I’ll be across the hall changing clothes.”

  “Hey, Dad,” Fallon said when her father answered her call.

  “Your mom and I were just talking about you, Fallon. How’d things go?”

  Far from what any of them expected. “You might want to put Mom on speaker.”

  “—paying daycare,” her mom was saying when her dad connected the speaker.

  “Your mom’s on,” her dad said.

  “Fallon, honey, wa
s he difficult? I bet he was difficult, Stan.” In her mind’s eye, Fallon could picture her mom giving her dad her characteristic revolted expression. “I read in one of those fancy magazines that men with money are always hard to deal with.” Her mom spent too much time diagnosing the world through those magazines.

  His magnetism is giving my libido all sorts of difficulty. “He wasn’t difficult about money, Mom.”

  A moment of silence and then her dad said what she knew they’d already been thinking. “We don’t understand.”

  “I’m at his house.” Their reaction could go any number of ways.

  “Why?” That was better than she anticipated, but the distrust in her dad’s voice was evident.

  “He wants to get to know Faith and—”

  “Out of the question, Fallon.”

  “Dad, I already agreed. Hang on.” She pulled the phone away from her ear and placed it on speaker as she set the smartphone on the bed. Afterward, she settled Faith on the duvet and unsnapped the buttons on the inside of her leg so she could change her diaper.

  “You let him know immediately you’re not living with a man before marriage.” His voice crackled over the line. Oh, yeah, wouldn’t be long before her dad was nice and riled up. They could be old-fashioned at times.

  “It’s already a done deal.” Sighing, she decided not to go into the whole spiel about being an adult and making her own choices now. Her parents had had a hard time letting go since her unplanned pregnancy shook up their world. “And it’s not like we’re sleeping together.”

  “You’re only twenty-one. That’s too young to make a life decision of this magnitude.” Really? Her mom didn’t think Faith was the biggest decision of her life? “It would be nice if you could use this time to go back to college though.”

  Fallon closed her eyes and prayed for patience. She’d never use Jase as a means to get back her prior dreams so she ignored her parent and addressed the initial comment. “I owe him time with Faith, and it’s only until she’s a year old. Then I can leave. He’s fully funding everything for her, and it really wasn’t fair to keep her away from him like I did.”

  “No regrets, Fallon. I won’t allow it.”

  Fallon rolled her eyes at her mom’s statement.

  “Us moms do things others don’t understand. I don’t like this choice of yours. It’s a bad decision. It stinks. He’s the type of man who’ll expect things.”

  Oh, good God! Could her mother get any more melodramatic? He’d already had the ‘things’ her mom couldn’t bring herself to voice above a whisper. What was the challenge in getting those things again? Certainly he’d know she was a commitment type of girl thanks to their interest in Faith, and from what she’d read about him, he was not the commitment type of guy.

  Before she could respond to that idiocy, her dad said, “You don’t owe him anything. He used my baby for his perversion. I know his type. He’ll expect you to sleep with him while he’s footing your bills. No man like him does so much without expecting something in return.”

  Fallon sighed. “He’s not footing any of my bills, just Faith’s. And, Mom, you need to let the college thing go already. Those dreams are over. The scholarship is gone and I can’t afford the tuition on my waitressing pay.” And school would take too much time away from Faith.

  “Why don’t you come visit and get to know the perverted man who’s footing the bills before you make assumptions about me and my expectations?”

  Fallon gasped and jerked her head about to find Jase standing beside her. She couldn’t gauge his blank expression, but her parents’ words had to have hit a nerve.

  The silence from her family indicated their shock at being overheard.

  Jase had decked himself out in a pair of well-worn jeans and a snug gray t-shirt that stretched over his chest. Alabama Crimson Tide was stamped in red lettering on the shirt. He could pull off any garb apparently because he’d made a suit and tie look good, and the jeans and t-shirt looked just as yummy on him. And those full-sleeve tats on both arms…she wouldn’t even go there and couldn’t understand why they appealed to her so much anyway.

  “Is that him?” Her father sounded uptight, like he geared up for an altercation.

  “Yep, it’s him.” Jase took the diaper out of Fallon’s hand. “Tell me if I’m doing it wrong.”

  “Be nice, Stan,” her mother’s furious whisper came across the line. “He’s got money and hotshot friends. He could sue you for being mean.”

  Fallon gaped at Jase while she contemplated her parent’s stupid comment. “I don’t think that’s a legit claim, Mom.” Sorry, she mouthed to Jase.

  Jase shot her an amused grin and shrugged a shoulder. Amazed by how well he took her parents’ slurs, she watched him remove the wet diaper and slide a dry one beneath Faith’s bottom. He pulled a wet-wipe out of its box and dragged it gently over her skin. After placing it on the used diaper, he hooked the tape in place and looked at Fallon with his eyebrows elevated.

  “You did good,” she said with a nod.

  He re-snapped Faith’s garment and buried his hands beneath her to snuggle her against his chest. Damn. The man just kept getting sexier. He rubbed his jaw against Faith’s brow while he spoke to her dad. “Mr. Morgan, y’all are welcome to visit anytime.” He rattled off the address. “I’ll let security know to expect y’all and allow ya’ to pass any time of the day or night.”

  “Mr. Collins, I don’t care about your money or your social status, but I do care about my girls.”

  “Dad! Please.” Mortification burned her cheeks.

  “I understand.” Jase held her gaze, his features impassive. “And I respect that. Faith is my number one priority and, as her mother, so is Fallon. Please visit soon so we may have a meeting of the minds.”

  “If you’re playing with—”

  “Dad, I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She scrambled to snatch the phone off the bed and disconnect the call. “I’m so sorry about that.” Keeping her focus on their daughter in his arms, she held the phone out to him.

  “Stick it in my pocket.” With one hand resting beneath Faith’s bottom, and his other rubbing her back with his palm, he cocked his hips to the side.

  She attempted to stuff it in his jean’s pocket without touching him. Luckily only her fingertips came in contact.

  “No need to apologize about your parents. I understand where they’re coming from. They love you. Feel like you’ve been wronged, so they’re being overprotective. I get it. I’ll probably behave the same way before Faith’s grown. Be glad you have them. I’d give anything to have my parents back.”

  Fallon’s stomach dropped. It’d slipped her mind that his parents were both deceased. “I’m sorry.”

  “Thanks.” He watched her for a long, tense moment before he asked, “What were you in college for?”

  “I was in my third year of pre-med.”

  His eyebrows jerked upward. “Wow. Baby-momma’s got brains.”

  She laughed, but couldn’t help but preen a little inside over the compliment. “More like big dreams. They might sound like silly dreams to you, but—”

  “Seriously?” Jase snorted. “I’m a drummer in a rock band. If anyone had silly dreams it was us. Statistically the chances of Hot Wired making it was a whole lot less likely than you becoming a doctor.”

  Fallon nodded, admitting he was probably right. Her dream was over, she could live with that so long as Faith had a good life.

  “Dreams are important, Fallon. You should follow your mom’s advice and go back to school. I’ll pay the bill.”

  “No way.”

  “You can pay me back when you’re making the big bucks.”

  She shook her head hard. “Why are you being nice to me?”

  “Faith needs to know dreams are important and we’ll support her regardless of her choices.” Did he really believe that? “Doesn’t mean I’m not still pissed off that you hid her from me.”

  He rubbed his cheek along the top o
f Faith’s head. The way he cuddled their infant made her crazy, yearning for a man she couldn’t have and shouldn’t want. Her attraction to him made no sense when she couldn’t decide if she liked him. Having amazing sex didn’t mean one was compatible with the other person. On top of that, sex could generate a host of other problems. They had Faith to think about now, and working together to make her life better was Fallon’s top priority.

  He loved Faith, had had an instant connection with her just like Fallon had from the moment she’d known of her conception. That only made him more attractive to her. The press would eat this up when they got pictures of him holding Faith. “I don’t know about the media seeing pictures of Faith’s face. Won’t that put her in danger?”

  “Whoa. What a random topic change.” Their daughter whimpered in his arms, a clear indication she had settled off to sleep. In response he kissed her forehead. “I don’t plan to allow her face to be photographed, but the reality is, I can’t control all of the paparazzi.”

  They’d shopped and decked out Faith’s nursery. Jase hadn’t known what much of it was for, but Fallon said they needed certain items, so he bought only the best for his little girl. They’d “went overboard” in Fallon’s opinion, but she’d said it with a smile on her face. Bought a boatload of clothes Fallon predicted Faith would never wear before she outgrew them. What’d he care? He’d just donate them to charity when they were too small.

  He spent every conceivable waking moment with his daughter. He’d thought of ways to not become a father, but never envisioned himself as one. After spending the last week with his child, he couldn’t imagine life without her. He enjoyed fatherhood so much, he even pondered having a second baby someday.

  Tab had texted and called, demanding a meeting to work out interviews with the press about his surprise baby. His avoidance of her wouldn’t last much longer. When Tab wanted something, she eventually cornered her prey. Chatting about his daughter wouldn’t be difficult. Sharing her with the world would though. He wanted to shelter her and selfishly wanted to keep her to himself. Being a rocker came with obligations. That meant he owed the press and the world a peek into his life. They’d exploit Faith regardless of whether he participated or not. At least by giving an interview, the world would hear his side of the story, and he held a modicum of control.